The Wait

Tomorrow at this time....
So when he heard Lazarus was ill, he stayed two days longer....
God has led you these forty years in the wilderness....
For the time will come....

I hate waiting. 
Let me make it more clear....

I. Hate. Waiting. 

I hate waiting for things that arrive later than I anticipated. 
I hate it when I have to wait on food to cook.
I hate it when I have to wait for a 2 day Amazon package to arrive.
I hate waiting on William to think through where he wants to put his house when we play Settlers of Catan. 

Now we have COVID-19 in the US and I am waiting. 

Waiting on it to strike my beloved community. 
Waiting to see if people I love and care about will suffer from it. 
Waiting to see if my family is affected by it. 

Waiting to see who it kills.

Some days I can lull myself into a faux sense of security because it hasn't hit my county yet. 
But not today.

Yesterday we had our first diagnosed case of it.

I live in a small town. A fantastic small town. And now we wait together.

And it sucks.

It makes me angry, scared, and overwhelmingly sad. And yesterday I was determined to figure out a plan. If I can just have a few plans in case A happens or B happens we will be okay. 

So I tried, and I planned. Then night came. And the futility of my plans settled deep in my soul. It felt almost as deep as the darkness did.

Then the sun came up...covered and masked by clouds, but it came up.

Around 6am I was reading my Bible in the book of Joshua chapter 11 verse 6 and it said...the Lord said to Joshua, "Do not be afraid of them, for tomorrow at this time I will give over all of them,..."

And... I lost it.

Don't be afraid because I am going to help you....TOMORROW!!  
Well what about today?

What about right now? Why in the world do you have to wait until tomorrow?

Joshua is SURROUNDED by enemies that have come together to DESTROY him and God says...Tomorrow.

That is just torment. It's cruel. And us having to wait for this stupid virus to strike is torment and cruel. And it's just not fair.

Slowly the anger subsided and the cloud of overwhelming sadness found its familiar place and I went about my day. 

Our family observes Holy Week so I began to prepare for Maundy Thursday activities tonight. 

Maundy in Latin means command and this day is a day to celebrate Jesus' final commands and meal with his friends before He is arrested and killed on Good Friday. 

Then it hit me.  He waited.

On that day, Jesus had to share a meal with a man that he knew was about to betray him to his murderers. He shared a meal with a close friend that he knew would deny even knowing him within hours. 

Not only did he share the meal with them...he served them by washing their feet. 

All of this while he waited. While he waited to suffer and die.

I struggle waiting to see if this virus will harm or kill me. 

He waited knowing it would.

We might think....Maybe it didn't really affect him because he knew that in the end it would turn out alright??

He was in agony. He sweat drops of blood. 
In Mark Jesus says his soul was sorrowful, even to the point of death.

We think of the physical pain of the beatings and the cross, but what about the waiting? 

Even in his death there was waiting. Three days worth of waiting. 
The most amazing moment to ever occur on the earth was coming next...but there was a three day wait.

There are so many promises that tell us what is to come. 

Not promises that we won't be affected by viruses or turmoil or disaster, but promises of hope, and peace, and joy. 
Promises of being loved, and having a purpose. And promises of a day when we will see the one we love face to face.

But for now we wait. And it can be very, very hard. 

What did Jesus do while He waited?

Well, he ate!! :)  I've kinda got that one down!!!

And he commanded us two things....Remember and Love.

He himself did those two things while he waited. 

In the garden as he cried out in emotional suffering he remembered who was in control and that His plan was good...even when it didn't look good.
And he loved those around him...even those who caused him pain.

So right now I am still scared, overwhelmed, and sad, but I remember that He was to.

He chose to wait with remembrance and with love. 

I want to wait like that.

May we wait not for disaster to come, but for the sun to rise, the birds to sing, and joy to come in the morning.
May we wait with HOPE and may we wait with LOVE.