The state is closing schools, restaurants, churches. Life as we know it is shut down.
I don't really know what to write about, but I know I need to write.
At first I thought this would all pass quickly just as many virus concerns have in the past. Now I recognize that this time is different.
I don't exactly know why it is different as I don't understand all of the science and mathematical models behind it.....but it is different.
With my youngest daughter homeschooling, much of our day looks the same. Except for the periodic checks to CNN and the Duluth Tribune for updates.
I don't know what I am looking for or what I want to see.
I don't really know much of anything right now.
I know there is a big part of me that wants to allow fear to settle in. But there is an equal part of me that wants to say "No, this is no big deal. I will follow the rules and things will work out okay for me."
But this little voice keeps reminding me that whether I choose the fear side, or the control side...it's not about me.
I see things going on that make me feel ill.
People hording toilet paper. I just think...seriously....toilet paper??? Coffee I might could understand, but toilet paper??
But then I recognize that the toilet paper hoarders just want something to help them feel safe and in control, just like I do.
I hear of people buying guns and stocking months worth of food.
The Walmart that I shop at was completely out of meat, most produce, eggs, milk, tortilla chips (??) and paper products last time I was there. Except for the stuff that is super crazy expensive, everything was gone.
What about people who can't afford the organic ground beef that is four times the amount of regular ground beef?
What about people who can't afford to stock up on two weeks worth of food?
What about those with children who are now having to take off work to stay home with them?
My heart hurts.
But then I see things that just remind me of how incredible by community is.
People serving food to the children out of school.
People bringing food baskets to the elders.
Volunteers to make shopping trips for those who are high risk and shouldn't leave home.
There is a steady stream of neighbors checking on neighbors.
There is love pouring out.
I don't have any idea how this is all going to go down. Is this going to be something that is over in a month, or something that will have a long lasting effect on the world?
But today there are a few things I do know.
I live in the best community ever in the history of communities.
There is no "doing it alone" here. People care about other people and they are willing to go without themselves to help someone else out.
I know that I miss seeing the teens that I usually get to see a few times a week. They make my heart happy.
I know that I have found a new thing I like to learn about...ecology!! It is incredible how the world works together!!
I know that I was super excited to find out Main Street Tacos would deliver where I live...then super sad when I found out I was wrong.
I know that the sun will come up tomorrow, the snow will slowly melt, the bears will wake up, and spring will come.
I know that God is in control....even when I don't understand it or like it.
Deuteronomy 3:22 You shall not fear them, for it is the LORD your God who fights for you.
I know that I don't know a lot of things, but I am thankful for what I do know.
