Amen. So be it.
These are words that I never thought I would say when it came to being broken.
The definition of break is to cause to separate into pieces as a result of a blow, shock, or strain.
It isn’t natural.
It’s out of order.
And it hurts.
Breaking a bone in your arm is painful and results in a period of immobility as you wait for it to heal.
Breaking an object likewise can cause a period of immobility, or worse yet causes uselessness and abandon…you throw it away.
But there is something amazing about breaking things….and that is when an object is broken its contents pour out.
We break piggy banks to get the money we are saving. We break piñatas to have candy shower upon us. We break open Amazon boxes to see what was delivered inside.
Breaking things reveals content.
I was trying to mop my stupid floors the other day and as I was beginning to see an end in sight I bumped up against a small table that holds my coffee supplies and my sugar bowl went flying. It fell onto the wet floor and broke causing sugar to go everywhere as well.
I said "Screw it!" and walked out leaving sugar, broken bowl, mop and dirty mop water in various states of disarray. Then I went shopping! :)
Broken things take the contents of what is inside and they spill out.
Clay pots, or earthen vessels, in the Old Testament were always broken when they came in contact with holy.
They had to be.
Clay vessels are porous, meaning they are full of small holes that allow air and liquid to pass through. Therefore, whenever they encountered something, they would hold on to minute amounts of it, making it impossible to return them to a “normal” state of being.
And when they came in contact with something holy, such as times where they would boil the sacrificial fat in them, they would hold on to that “holy” as well, rendering it unusable for the everyday and normal purpose.
So they broke them.
They could never return back to what they were before.
And that is how it is when we encounter the Holy.
Luke 1:49 tells us “….for he [God] who is mighty has done great things for me, and holy is his name.”
When we encounter God, our lives can never go back to being used for everyday purposes, we retain the Holy through His Spirit. We absorb it…He changes who we are.
Why then break it? Why not just stick this newly “holy” pot on a shelf to look at and admire? Why break it?
Because nothing we have is meant to be kept to ourselves.
Not our material possessions.
Not our lives.
Not our stories.
And not our encounter with the Holy.
We are broken because we are holy through Jesus.
And by that will, we have been made holy through the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ once for all. Hebrews 10:10
We are broken because our weaknesses and our brokenness are meant to be shared.
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
2 Corinthians 12:9
And we are broken because what has been poured into us needs to be poured out.
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4
And we are no longer suitable for everyday use.
We have something that must be shared.
Hope.
Love.
Joy.
Peace.
And the most radical display of grace imaginable.
And if breaking me is what is needed to share that…
If breaking me is what is needed so that I can absorb more of the Holy One…
Then break me.
You see, my three-week trip did not go as planned. Without getting into many details, some things happened that left me feeling lonely, wounded, rejected, and angry.
I was so angry with God and felt so betrayed by Him.
But on my final day of driving, I remembered a similar feeling that I had 2 1/2 years ago as I drove away from Texas.
I remembered the hurt and anger. I remembered a year and a half of incredibly difficult days. Sometimes so much so that my heart physically hurt.
But then I remembered something else. I remembered a change in my relationship with a God that I adore.
I remember a new hunger and thirst for Him that had not been there before.
And as strange as it sounds, it is with that original brokenness that I found out what freedom in Christ felt like.
It is in that brokenness that I experienced a newfound amazement of God's grace.
It is in that brokenness that I experienced the one thing that I now know.
Because out of the gazillion things in this world that I do not know about, there is one thing that I do.
He is worth it.
So break me.
I am clay in the potter's hands.
A potter that I trust.
Amen. So Be It.
