Now I was really thinking....Oh God, look how AWESOME I am! I could totally whoop up on those Israelite's cuz You KNOW I don't have any idols before YOU!!
And then, as so often happens when I come to the Lord with a bit of a self-righteous tone...SMACK DOWN!! No, God didn't smack me down but when He started showing me what idols I had in my life....well, let's just say the Israelite's were whooping up on me!
So just to give you a teeny, tiny glimpse into what He showed me...here ya go! Security, CONTROL, Being in on the know, CONTROL, my children, CONTROL!! I'd say I have a bit of a struggle with control :)
I guess the one that really, really shocked me was my children. You see, I had struggled through this one before, or so I thought. You know, trying to come to terms with the fact that my children are not my own, but they are the Lord's and if He calls them to do something other than what I think, that is okay. And I'm not guaranteed to have them for any length of time. So though I in no way claim to have completely turned this over to Him, I would have said I was well on my way. Then....
SOMETHING HAPPENED THAT MADE ONE OF MY GIRLS SAD!! REALLY, REALLY SAD! Not just a cry a tear and get over it sad, but a soul wrenching sadness that claws into a mama's gut and pulls out every bit of mother instinct one can have.
Oh my how it hurt to see her in pain. So I did what any mother would do...I wanted to fix it! But this was something that I really had no way of even beginning to fix. In fact, the only thing I could do was to watch her hurt and that, my friends, was not an option. (Please recall that I mentioned CONTROL as an idol a couple of times earlier :) )
So I prayed. And. I. Prayed. Oh my goodness I needed God to fix it and it was not happening fast enough for this mom. In fact, don't tell anyone but I started to get a bit annoyed that God was not fixing things. Then I began to question what type of Father He really was if he could sit back and watch her like this.
Well....You guys can probably already see a definite problem developing here but it took me a bit longer! Anyways, the Lord began to show me that I was worshiping my children's happiness over Him, thus idolizing them.
Whoa now! My kids say "Yes ma'am" and "No ma'am" to me! I certainly don't idolize them...I command respect!!
Yes, well, somewhere between cradling them as infants and commanding respect I started to place their happiness on a pedestal. Really, really tall ones!! :) And when they became unhappy in a way that I didn't understand and couldn't help with, especially if I felt like they deserved the happiness it...well, that kinda became my first priority.
I actually was pretty stinking quick to throw God aside and take up idol.
So, once I could see this I was perplexed as how to proceed. You see in the Old Testament they were told to bash in their asherah poles and bashing my girls was not really an option...whew!! So how do you deal with an idol that you can't avoid. Heck, it is an idol that is a blessing from God! (Isn't it crazy how I can take a blessing and turn it into an idol?)
So here is what I did. First I had to really, REALLY pray. I could not get rid of the idol worship on my own so I had to ask the Lord to do it for me. Slowly...sooo slowly He began to show me what a good, good father He is.
"If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!" Matthew 7:11
He showed me that it is always good for me to mimic His parenting, but He is NOT going to mimic mine.
What? You mean God can parent in ways other than what I think is right?? You betcha'!!!!
The other thing I learned was to cling to the things the Lord promises for my children.
God will be with them when they walk through difficult times and will keep them from becoming consumed. Isaiah 43:2
He will fill them! Matthew 5:6
God has good works for them to do. 2 Timothy 2:20-21
He will uphold them Isaiah 41:10
They have been made new creations in Christ! 2 Corinthians 5:17
The difference here is that my focus began to change from being solely on my girls to solely on God. And apart from Him there IS NO good for my children.
Once again I am going to close a post telling how I totally do NOT have this down pat yet! I still struggle with putting their happiness or what I believe will bring them happiness ahead of the Lord, but the Lord is faithful to bring my focus back on Him.
Sometimes it is incredibly difficult for me to take the blessing of my children and not cling so tightly to it that I leave no space for the other abundant blessings God has for them and for me. But I am so thankful His mercies are new every morning!! Great is His faithfulness!!
Because He is also a good, good Father to me :)
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