Feeling Let Down By God

God let me down.

He left me alone and in despair. I looked for Him, I cried out for Him but He was nowhere to be found.

I was obedient to His instructions and I held fast to His promises. And then, when I needed Him He was not there for me, and I did not know what to do.

What is a person to do when they are abandoned by someone they completely trusted?

How do you take the next step when the author of your steps has left?

Well....you don't. Or at least I didn't. I just stood there in disbelief and in jaw gaping wonder of how this could have happened and how everything I had based my life on was shaky. I stood there trying to figure out how to put one foot in front of the other and go on after the Creator of all things deserted His creation.

Sometimes the only way you can get that next step is through hope and when that is taken away, how are your supposed to proceed?

Then I remembered from my Old Testament reading how all throughout Israel was told to tell stories of God's faithfulness. Remember the past. So I did.

I remembered God's faithfulness when we conceived our third daughter. I remember His faithfulness through the deliveries of our youngest two daughters.

There was a time soon after we were married that we were high on love but very, VERY low on money. The Lord sent a random check in the mail. He was faithful!

When my husband was laid-off from work God was oh so faithful to provide a new, better fitting job!

He healed me from disease.

God has been nothing but faithful to me.

Then I began to thank Him for this faithfulness.

A funny thing happens when you pour thankfulness into one's heart...the anger and despair becomes engulfed by the thankfulness.  You see, scripture tells us over and over the power of a thankful heart!

So now I am still not taking any steps, but I am able to at least stand on my own. And then in the resting of my feet I am reminded that though it might not look like my God is there and it might not feel like my God is there, His own pattern of faithfulness says that He is there.

As I continue to rest my feet not knowing how to step forward I am slowly consumed by His presence of peace and of hope. The warmth of His Spirit begins to fill mine and I discover three things.

First, when I doubt Him....REMEMBER Him.

Second, sometimes I need to rest my feet so that my Lord can not only guide me but consume me.

And finally, what felt to me like God letting me down was in actuality just God SLOWING me down. Kinda like with Elijah...I need to eat and drink God's food so I would be ready for the amazing journey He has prepared before me.

So eat and drink what the Lord has to offer, be refreshed, and then be ready to run!