Happy Birthday to Me!!

Well, yesterday was my birthday!!  44 never sounded so YOUNG! :)

As I sat there being loved on by my family and friends, I thought back on the last year. It was a rough one for us.

We moved three times.
Two of my girls left for college.
We have had a couple of health trials.
Our marriage has had some difficult times.
We have family with serious health trials.
I've also just really had some personal struggles.

One of the biggest struggles that I have had over the past year is the realization that I have not been living the life that I was called to live. I thought that being "good," making the right choices, engaging in some pat-on-the-back/give back activities, going to church, having devotions would fulfill me.

What I realized is that though those things are all good, they were just numbing me to my real calling...reflecting Christ. So I've spent months trying to figure out what exactly that means and this is what I have for now, though I know that God will continue to reveal more to me:

1. There are a gazillion people in this world, Christian and not, that are "good." There is no way to identify me as a follower of Christ by just being "good."

2. The same goes for making right/moral choices, though there are some that would be more of an identifier, they, so far, have not been choices that I have had to make in my life.

3. Pat-on-the-back/Give back activities, though they are great things to do, are most of the time done to either make myself look good or cover over some feeling of guilt I have.

4. Going to church and being the church are two entirely different things. Being the church definitely involves being a part of an assembling body, but it is so much more!

5. Devotions, though they have their place, should never replace study of the living, moving, transforming Word of God.

6. "Normal" is my enemy. It draws me into routine which draws me into comfort, which draws me into stagnation. And stagnant water stinks and can become toxic.

7. Christianity is not for the faint of heart or those that are not willing to go all in. The Bible tells us that we will suffer, have our name slandered, be despised, have our family turn against us, and calls us to take up our cross daily. It is not a pretty or glamorous path.

8. The world will know us by our unity, love, and willingness to suffer for Christ. Right now they know us by our discord, what we are against, and our "blessings" which we tend to equate with material wealth and gain. This is not what we are called to be known by, but we can change it through God's grace.

9. If I don't have a heart for the lost and the church, I do not have a heart like God's.

10. My life will NOT...it can NOT be about me or about this temporary state that I am in. It MUST be based on eternity. Clinging to an eternal perspective is the only way to live the way I am called to.

11. In light of the cross, it is all worth it.

So...now you have another year to wait until I gain a few more nuggets to share!!  :)  I know...that sounds more like a threat doesn't it??!!

Love you guys!!