A Month Of Crazy!!

You ever have something that you know you need to do but you don't really know how? Well, that is my blog post today!!

I know I need to write, but at this very moment I have no idea about what!!  :)

So I'm going to start writing and see where we go!

The past month has been a bit crazy. We were super happy to have the privilege of going to the Wind River Reservation to see our friends in Wyoming again. Something extra special about this year was that we were able to spend the whole trip with some of our Hayward peeps!!  Cuz we are now Hayward peeps! :)

I also was super excited for the opportunity to help take a fantastic group of teens and young adults to Missouri to the Warrior Leadership Summit. I just adored being able to spend so much time with them. Poor kids (and other adults) had to be locked in a van with me for about 12 hours each way!!

It's soooo much more fun to talk when people listen (even if it is because they are trapped in the van with ya!).

Anyways....It has been such a busy month, but I have also learned so much.

Much about people, much about myself, and much about Jesus. :)

I've learned that people are all more or less the same.

We all want to be heard.
We all want to be loved.
And we all need hope.

About myself I have learned that I am a big chicken. 
I don't like change. 
I'm a creature of habit. 

But I've also learned that I am a warrior. 
I am brave. 
And I am able to not just survive, but thrive where I originally thought I would fail.

And what I've learned about Jesus is that He is the answer to it all.

You want to be heard?   He WANTS to listen.
You want to be loved?   He IS love!!
You want hope?             There is NO hope except through Him.

When I am a weak......He uses that to display His strength.
When I have to face change.....He is not only there with me, but He has gone before me to ensure it is the best change for me.
When I get caught in habit.....He will tenderly nudge me when I need to head another direction.

At the times that I am a warrior - It is only by His might and His strength.
At the times that I am brave - It is because He has already won my battle.
And when I thrive at times I was sure I would fail - It is because I allowed Him to come into whatever the situation was and let Him take center stage in my life as opposed to my circumstance.

I am nothing without Him. And I mean this. I don't want to be anything without Him.

I want my life to be completely rooted in Jesus.
And when that is the case then the storms may come and I might be uprooted and replanted....but I know...I KNOW who supplies my strength and nourishes me.

And that, my friend, allows one to just rest, enjoy the breezes, stand amazed at the storms, take on the adventure of being replanted, and just soak in the Son.

Well, I guess I did have something to blog about didn't I??  :)

He is so very faithful.

Canoeing Obstacles

So yesterday was my solo float! I try super hard to go at least once a week and canoe alone to just clear my head, hang out with the Lord, and absorb a bit of God's creation!! Honestly, this is the best stress reliever EVER (followed closely by wood splitting and stacking!)!! 

And it's about wayyyy more than relieving stress, its about being able to take a couple of hours and step out of the day-to-day and be immersed in beauty. 

It's about carving the opportunity to slow down and notice.

And it's about the water!! 

I was a bit surprised at my immense and immediate love of all things RIVER!  But William said that considering my amazement with the ocean, he wasn't. :)

Anyway....back to my story!!

So as I began my journey I was praying and just asking the Lord to clear my head and fill it only with His thoughts and ideas and I pretty quickly figured out what He wanted to teach me.

You see, due to rain that we had recently received, the river was running pretty swiftly and being that it was my first time to float this spot I was surprised at the high and frequent number of obstacles that came up. That was when God began to gently speak into my soul about life...about obstacles.

When canoeing, I make great effort to avoid obstacles and was rapidly becoming distressed at the number of them I saw ahead. I couldn't see it well enough to know which side would be the best to pass by on or how best to handle what was coming. 

I saw just enough to know that it was coming.

That is when the Lord taught me my first lesson regarding obstacles. There was a huge mound of tree branches that I could see down stream and I had no idea how to proceed and like I said, I quickly became distressed. Then He showed me how much I was missing!

I was missing the beauty of where I was at...what I was passing through because I was so caught up in what I "thought" was coming. 

In actuality, once I got there it was pretty easy to steer around.

My second lesson was a good one too. 

Since this was a longer float I had ample time to get to know the water better, and I noticed something. When there are obstacles hidden by water, the surface changes. Sometimes it looks more smooth than the rest, and sometimes more turbulent, but there is usually some slight difference from the surrounding, obstacle free waters. 

Kinda like in life. Some of our obstacles are hidden, but if we look carefully we can see signs. For me, the biggest surface change that indicates trouble is coming is when I neglect to start my day in the Word and in prayer. That is my tell-tale sign.

For others of you it could be trouble sleeping, listening to negative thoughts in your head, etc. But we all have some type of surface change indicator. 

The final lesson He showed me was in perception of the obstacle. You see, by the end of a two-hour float...I had to potty!!  And the sound of the rushing river was making it worse :)

So as I began to become annoyed by the noise God helped me notice something. At the beginning of the float I adored the sound of the water. It was peaceful and calming, but at the end it just caused me misery and pain (that may be a bit dramatic, but you know what I mean!).

But you know what He showed  me? The sound never changed!!  It was just my focus. 

It was the same sound I heard at the end of the trip that I enjoyed at the beginning but instead of focusing on the beauty of the river, I was thinking about my need to go to the bathroom!

And in life when I focus on something other than Jesus, my perception changes. A beautiful journey can become one of annoyance and despair.

At this point I was pretty sure I was done with the obstacle lessons and then BAM!!  I ran smack dab into a tree!!  

I turned a bend, the wind picked up, the current picked up, and there was nothing I could do but hold on and run into the stinking tree!

So now I'm stuck in the tree and I start trying to figure out how I'm going to get out of it and it is in said tree that I was taught one more...fabulous lesson!!

Canoeing isn't so much about avoiding all of the obstacles as it is about staying balanced.

You see, that tree was an unavoidable obstacle. I really see no way that I could have not run into it. But the key came in trying to maintain my balance.

And what a great life lesson that was for me.

Sometimes no matter how much I try to avoid them...obstacles are going to come. 

And there are times when we just have to hold on to the sides of the canoe and run into the tree.

But that doesn't have to destroy my float. If I can allow God to keep my focus on the beauty and His glory...If I will seek Him to keep me in balance...I can overcome the obstacle.

I might be stuck on it for a while, like a giant tree in the river, but by letting Him take over, I can maintain my balance and overcome.

Lessons From the Canoe....

I think I am going to begin this post with a story, so bear with me....

A young girl...okay maybe she is not so young...takes a canoe trip.... 

Alright, you got me.... it's me!! 

Moving on...

This canoe trip is not a long one, but one down a beautiful river in hopes of having some peaceful time to draw closer to the Lord.

So I take the first step and get into the canoe without tipping it over and boy did I feel a sense of relief and accomplishment! Honestly that was my biggest worry!

Now I am ready to begin the peaceful float. The scenery is beautiful, the sun is warm, and the water beautiful.

But I quickly learned something... It's REALLY hard to canoe if it is windy.

It's not long before I reach a turn in the river where I was taken by surprise. The wind whips around  and whoosh!!  My canoe spins! 

Suddenly I am completely turned around and going down the river backwards.

I tried and tried to turn it, but every time I would get seemingly close the wind would spin me again. Luckily for me I had brought my phone to listen to some music, so I texted a friend that I knew had more canoe knowledge than myself and asked for some advice.

Following the advice I was able to get more control and get turned around. But...I was continuously caught by wind and had to repeat the whole turning process a gazillion more times.

I finally made it to the landing area and was able to get out of the canoe without tipping it over!! But boy was it far from the peaceful trip I had anticipated! It was rough :)

After the trip I remembered a scripture that I had read a couple of days before...It is from Psalm 31:21....

Blessed be the Lord,

    for he has wondrously shown his steadfast love to me

    when I was in a besieged city

I kinda felt like my canoe trip was closer to being in a besieged city than the peaceful float I had hoped for. I looked up the definition for besiege and it is - to surround, overwhelm.

Yuppers...definitely closer to that!!

I started to think about the fact that sometimes we see things differently when we are overwhelmed. Sometimes it's easy to get so focused on the battle that we lose sight of what is all around us and the many ways God is wondrously showing His steadfast love to us!

Like on my canoe trip... I was fighting so hard that for a while I forgot  to take time and behold the beauty of creation that I was passing through!  

It was there all of the time, but I was missing it.

Also, had the wind not tired me out and whipped me around, I would have missed the wondrous view I had of a huge, bald-eagle sitting behind me watching :)

I would have also missed being able to hear! You see, my intent was to use my phone and blare my worship music during the ride, but I can't concentrate well when I have music playing. Thus when the wind sent my trip in a different direction, I took out my earbuds. What I was blessed to hear was silence!!

And it was also because of that silence that I was then able to hear the rustling of the brush and see a huge deer hiding and watching! :)

All of this was just a great encouragement for me and a reminder....that when I am in a city or stage of life where I am being besieged or overwhelmed I need to remember that sometimes that is the best time and way for me to see God's wondrous, steadfast love.

A reminder to slow down and look at what I am passing through and to see the beauty.

A reminder to allow myself to be turned around and see where I am coming from...not just where I am headed.

A reminder that sometimes I need to take out the earbuds and listen to God in the silence.

A reminder that sometimes the way He wants to love on us with a wondrous, steadfast love is through our being in a city under siege.

Surviving the Northwoods

It is very hard for me to believe that we have been here for five months. 

What is even harder to believe is that we survived our first Wisconsin winter...though they tell me this one was extremely mild.

The best news first...William joined us! His company is allowing him to work most of the year remote from the Northwoods!!

Now on to the other news!

We have learned how to work this....

    

And navigate this....

I have learned not to line dry my pants when it's cold...even if it LOOKS warm outside....

We have experienced the beauty of the fresh snow in the winter...

And how different Wisconsin spring is from Texas'....

We have experienced the beauty of the sunrise here...

And the sunset....

We have hiked beautiful falls......

We have played at giant lakes....

There have been times of peace.....

And times of turmoil....

We have been blessed with high school students to love on and that love on us.

We have been blessed with friends that go above and beyond.

But we have times of tears and times of pain.

There are relationships that are still broken.

We have grown daily in our walk with the Lord as He has proved faithful over and over and over again.

When we are sad, He has wiped our tears. When we are in pain, He provides peace.

When we are broken He has not only tenderly mended us, but He used us not in SPITE of our brokenness, but BECAUSE of it!!

When the Lord moves you from a place you know and are comfortable with to a place that is full of unknowns and scary....and He asks you to do things you don't know how to do.... you quickly become aware of your weaknesses. 

But that is precisely when He can begin to do the most work through you, because....

 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.”   
2 Corinthians 12:9

Too Good For A Testimony?!

Wow! It's been a while!! :)

We are surviving the winter here in Wisconsin. There have been some really cold days, but for the most part they tell me that this winter has been really mild.

One thing that we enjoy doing is snowshoe hiking! I gotta tell you....it's really fun!!

Yesterday I was out hiking and I noticed how bright my red snowshoe was compared to the snow. The verse came to mind:

"Come now, let us settle the matter," says the Lord.

"Though your sins are like scarlet,

they shall be as white as snow;

though they are red as crimson,

they shall be like wool."

Isaiah 1:18

         

I started to think about the difference between the red in my shoe and the white of the snow. It's a huge difference. It's a drastic difference. It's a difference that one can't help but notice, even if they themselves know nothing about snowshoeing. 

As I thought about that for a while another verse came to mind:

        

 “‘I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. 

         Would that you were either cold or hot! 

         So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, 

         I will spit you out of my mouth." 

         Revelation 3:15-16

How much of my life have I spent being lukewarm for God?

More than I would care to admit.

For years I would tell people that I didn't really have a testimony because I was raised in the church and grew up with the teaching. What a misguided and frankly wrong way of thinking!

It doesn't matter what I did or didn't do before I gave my life to Christ, my transformation should be drastic! It should be like scarlet compared to white snow. People, no matter what their beliefs, should be able to see a difference. 

You see, many, many times we think that when we give our lives to the Lord what should be different is our actions (physical) or our thinking (mental). But what we fail to realize is that the initial transformation is in our heart (spirit), and that transformation should be radical. 

No matter what we have done, good or bad, or how we have behaved, right or wrong, there should be a noticeable shift in our hearts. We can do good things and we can behave in a right way without the Lord. But only God can purify and clean our heart

Create in me a clean heart, O God, 

And renew a steadfast spirit within me.

Psalm 51:10

And no matter how "good" we were before walking with the Lord, our hearts were all the same, dirty, stained, and sinful.

"But the things that proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, 

and those defile the man.

"For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, 

fornications, thefts, false witness, slanders."

Matthew 15:18-19

Therefore our transformation from scarlet to pure, white snow should reveal a difference that can only be attributed to God. 

What if it doesn't?

Well, I don't really have an answer for that as it is something you need to take before the Lord.

For me personally I think it came down to a misunderstanding and to pride.

You see, I gave my head to God.

I learned about Him, believed in Him, and tried in think of Him.

I gave my physical self to God, though through my pride I mistakenly thought I was already doing pretty good on my own. 

But I had not given my heart to God. 

I had not let Him truly transform my heart. 

I had not let Him make it like His own.

When God transforms our heart we take on His priorities.

A heart that breaks for the lost....and is willing to be obedient in doing something about it.

A heart that loves the Church...and is willing to be a part of it.

A heart that cares for the poor, widows, and orphans...and is willing to put that into action.

A heart that forgives...even when our perpetrator isn't repentant. 

And that, my friend, looks radically different.

The North Woods

Where we are living now is known as the North Woods area, and boy does it live up to its name! There are beautiful trees everywhere. I love the woods. The way it looks, the way it smells, the way you can see and feel the wind coming before you ever feel it!

It also brings up great memories from my childhood. I remember sitting in a hammock at our family's lake house watching the wind come through the trees. There are also memories of hiking through the forest with my Grandaddy in East Texas looking at everything hidden in the darkened woods.

 

Lately, in our cabin, I have been sleeping on the couch downstairs. One reason is that it is right by the wood stove that gives us heat, so it's warm! But the other and main reason I sleep there is because at the foot of the couch is a huge window that looks out into the woods.

I lie on the couch at night and as the light reflects off of the snow, I can look at the trees. This morning as I was sitting there looking through the treetops I noticed how windy it looked, but as my gaze lowered it didn't look windy at all. I started to wonder how these trees, which are so, sooo tall, can take such great amounts of wind up top, but when you look at the trunks they don't appear to move at all.

After reading and thinking on it for a bit I began to see some application to my spiritual life and also to my transition here in the North Woods.

It is all dependent on the roots. You know those pesky little things that tear up your foundation and make cracks in your water pipes? Those things that most of the time you can't see? The foundation is in the roots.

What does that look like for me as a believer and disciple of Christ? How can I weather life's storms in a way that though the wind might be blowing all around, I am able to stand firm? Well, the key also lies in our roots.

Our move here has been more difficult than I expected. The loneliness, the loss of the people and things we left behind, the loss of the earthly security we left in Texas...all of takes its toll in ways that I did not expect or anticipate. There have been days here that I have had to just stick one foot in front of the other and take it one step at a time or the fear and loneliness would be paralyzing.

And though there have been times that I have wanted to head back south, I have been able to stand firm...but I can tell you one thing....it was not and never will be by my own strength. So for those who ask "How can you do it"? Well, I can't, but God can and He has. And as I look over the past three months I can see some similarities I have through my roots in Christ with the trees that I watched stand firm in the wind.

1. Know God: This is the most important aspect that has enabled me to stand. I KNOW who I serve. He is mighty and faithful. He is long-suffering yet just. He is compassionate. He is God.

2. Know the Word: I love God's Word. It guides me, it helps me. It is one of the main ways I can get to know God. His Word is my lamp and my light when the days are dark and the nights are long.

3. Know the Church: Did you know that trees have underground root exchanges of water and nutrients with other trees? They even can graft their roots together! This is kinda how I envision the church! We are all different and come with various gifts and abilities, but through Christ our roots are all grafted together and enable us to stand tall and strong through life's storms.

God has used His church in mighty ways to support us after moving here. We have had help obtaining housing, wood, any physical need we have had. Even this morning I had to call on someone to help get my van started! Honestly it seems that every day I am having to ask for help in one way or another. Before moving here that was not something I was comfortable doing, but I seem to be getting better at it!! :)

God's people have helped us by offering help in the form of emotional and spiritual support. There are people who meet me for meals or coffee or just to hang out and I know...I KNOW... that they are busy and have other things to do, but they are stepping in and ministering to me in that way.

God's church has paid attention to the little details of my life. The other day a dear friend showed up with some matching bowls and saucers that go along with a set of plates I found at the thrift store. In December I had that hardest time trying to get our Christmas tree to stand up and one morning two friends showed up, one with a different tree stand, and the other with the knowledge and skill to get it to stand up. Little details, yet HUGE impact and blessing.

We have been blessed in knowing some of our friends here for several years as we met in Wyoming each summer. Those friends have been instrumental in helping us adjust and at this point I feel like they are family. God has also placed new friends in our path that have quickly, supernaturally, become life-long friends.

Paul tells us in Colossians that we need to live a life worth of the Lord by bearing fruit, growing, being strengthened. Having endurance and patience and giving joyful thanksgiving to the Father.

Kinda like my trees...bearing fruit, growing, being strong....  But how is one to have a strong root system like this?

We can having by doing one thing...asking.

Verses 9-14 says "For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you. We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit give, so that you may live a life worth of the Lord and please him in every way; bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light. For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the son he loves, in whom we have redemption, and forgiveness of sins."

On my own I can't have the  knowledge, wisdom or understanding to strengthen my roots.

On my own I can't develop friendships that quickly become an integral part of my root system.

On my own I can't stand in the day-to-day storms that come.

And I thank God that I don't have to.

All I have to do is to ask.